STOP Telling Kids: You're Smart!

indi's picture

This morning I was telling Noe how smart he was for taking eating his pasta on his own or for kicking a bouncing ball. Then Rani warned me that what I did may backfire on Noe's motivation to try more difficult tasks. I did not believe her at first until Rani showed me this article on How Not to Talk to Your Kids.

Here is some citation:


When parents praise their children’s intelligence, they believe they are providing the solution to this problem. According to a survey conducted by Columbia University, 85 percent of American parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart.

But a growing body of research—and a new study from the trenches of the New York public-school system—strongly suggests it might be the other way around. Giving kids the label of “smart” does not prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it.

In short, if kids are praised for their "effort", they will have a tendency to choose harder set of tasks. Whereas those that are praised for their "intelligence", a majority will chose the easy tasks. Generally, the “smart” kids took the cop-out or easy way out and their mindset will work this way: "I gotta look smart, and can't risk making mistakes!".

So, when you see Noe, please don't tell him that he's smart. Instead, praise him for the effort.

PS: Thank you, Raniku!

Comments

When parents praise their

When parents praise their children’s intelligence, they believe they are providing the solution to this problem. According to a survey conducted by Columbia University, 85 percent of American parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart.

But a growing body of research—and a new study from the trenches of the New York public-school system—strongly suggests it might be the other way around. Giving kids the label of “smart” does not prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it.

This is exactly what is happening in the American education including higher education at the university level. Most professors are praising their students such as marvellous, wonderful, very nice, incredible etc. To make the long story shaort, the professors in the US are treating their students lke their "customers" and the worst is that students are given a right to "evaluate" their professors. That's why most American sudents are not motivated.

When parents praise their

When parents praise their children’s intelligence, they believe they are providing the solution to this problem. According to a survey conducted by Columbia University, 85 percent of American parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart.

But a growing body of research—and a new study from the trenches of the New York public-school system—strongly suggests it might be the other way around. Giving kids the label of “smart” does not prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it.

This is exactly what is happening in the American education including higher education at the university level. Most professors are praising their students such as marvellous, wonderful, very nice, incredible etc. To make the long story shaort, the professors in the US are treating their students lke their "customers" and the worst is that students are given a right to "evaluate" their professors. That's why most American sudents are not motivated.

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